A gay guy in a dorm of straight guys

Being a gay guy in a dorm filled with straight men is not an easy thing to deal with every day. Though I get along fine with them, I’m pretty positive that none of them have caught on that I am indeed a gay guy. I shouldn’t be surprised because most men when they think of a gay guy picture a flaming, flamboyant diva who is out to get into their pants.  Which is obviously not true.  However I consider myself a different breed of gay. I’m not a flamer, and for those who think I am they obviously haven’t met a diva before in their life. I have more boyish habits than girly habits, however I am very sensitive. So it’s easy to mistake me for straight. Now don’t misunderstand me, I may be masculine but that doesn’t mean I have my moments here and there. But those are very rare moments. Basically I like to do guy stuff, I love Halo, I love driving like a maniac and I love to work out. It’s difficult, I came out in high school after a long and drawn out battle with some bigoted football players and as it turned out I still had plenty of friends because they had all known me since we were little and loved me no matter what.  However it is different here, I don’t know any of these people that well and I really don’t expect much from them either.  I’m also lonely, I’ve been lonely even throughout high school, and for some strange reason I thought that once I got to college it would be easy to get a boyfriend.  But I was wrong, well so far but it’s only been like the first week of school. I guess I’m just impatient. But I long for companionship. That’s what I honestly want the most. I want to be able to love someone and have the same feelings returned. It’s all really annoying. Especially when I start feeling overwhelmed, I want to be with someone whom I care about. I see all of these couples sprout up here and there and it reminds me that I’m alone and that I don’t have anyone that loves me like that.  It’s hard because I know I have so much to give, but I have no one to give it to. I think that once I have a boyfriend that I will feel really complete and settled. Even with my group of girls and some other friends I still feel alone. I think this is my main issue. The need for attention, love, and flirtation it’s only human. I’ve found that along with this new stress of adjusting to college, massive amounts of reading, and lack of companionship I often find myself in a not so happy mood, though I am an expert at putting on a mask. I only put on a mask around people who aren’t very close to me. I guess I do this because I don’t want people to be able to read me, or give them an allusion of something when I’m really like something else. It’s hard to explain….